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Muddling through. Some advice needed.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Just a quick note to let you know that I am managing, although not always well.

I have done quite a bit of shopping at Sam's Club, so we have lots of stuff with which to make quick meals on our George Foreman grill. This simplifies life because I won't have to rush to the grocery store too often, except for fresh stuff. We had one meal out this week, which was the plan, and we made one emergency meal (frozen pizza) on a night I was too tired to cook. The kids have been fairly helpful.

The kids start back to school on the 30th, and I have a number of things I need to do with them before that happens. They are both due for visits to the eye doctor and dentist. My daughter also needs an appointment with an orthodontist. Then, of course, there is supply shopping and clothes shopping. I have to do it as efficiently as possible to find time for exercise.

My husband has been emailing daily and calling weekly. Two weeks down, 24 more to go! Fortunately, we all seem to be coping.

Work is what seems to be adding the most stress to my life right now. I'm worried about my boss. He used to be a nice guy, and fun to work with. Now he is going through something that has made him overbearing, overcontrolling, and tyrannical. I stand up to it as best I can, but it's taking its toll. I don't trust the leadership of my office, so I don't know what to do.

Anything I say to others would be used against him, possibly to force him into retirement, and he wouldn't like that, and he wouldn't take very well to the idea of getting counseling. There is an ever longer list of people in the office I have been forbidden to talk to. Because of his extreme need for control, I am feeling isolated, and I'm working well below the level I'm trained for ( and have worked at over the last few years). Of his staff, I'm the one who is closest to him, so he takes it out on me more so than others. I sometimes ask myself if I am the one who has gone nuts and not him, but I have discussed this with friends who have psych expertise, and they are convinced that it's him and not me.

I don't want to be disloyal to him, but I don't know what to do. Have you ever worked your way out of such a situation successfully? Any advice?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so proud of how you are handling your home situation with your hubby gone. It is too bad he is not there to support you during this work situation. I have been in tough situations at work, but nothing like what you are experiencing. I agree if you could have a heart to heart with your boss, outside of work, it night give you some insight into how you can respond. IN the meantime, try your best to do your best. KNow we are always here to listen and you can vent to us anytime. emoticon emoticon
    3745 days ago
  • BOBBYD31
    that is tough! do you know him well enough to talk with him at a lunch or something? it would be better than the office.
    3746 days ago
    I have been in that situation--twice, unfortunately. The way I got out of it was by holding my head up high, doing my job the best I could, and staunchly defending myself, when necessary by going to a higher-up--all the while without being disloyal to my boss. It has to be taking a toll that your hubby isn't around to give you moral support from day to day. Bill was invaluable in that regard. It certainly sounds like the problem lies with him, that he's under the gun and being hypervigilant, extremely defensive, and dangerous. And yet you sound as if you're more concerned about his well-being than about your own!

    My current boss and I were in a bad situation like that, but then his whole attitude changed one day, when his wife basically gave him permission to believe there's more to life than the company. The change in him is like night and day, and I can only pray that will happen for your boss.

    Feel free to use me as a sounding board any time. My situation probably wasn't exactly like yours, but it wasn't easy, that's for sure, and I can't imagine going through it without another adult to talk to every evening!

    emoticon emoticon
    3746 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2112467
    Lordy! You have alot going on.

    It sounds like all the home stuff is manageable, and you can get thru all that stuff.

    I wish I had some sage advice on the work front. I haven't been in that situation, but it certainly seems stressful! I hope you can find some clarity and direction with that situation.

    Hugs to you!
    3746 days ago
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