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Day 223: The Celery Stalker

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My cat is on the kitchen counter frantically rubbing her furry body on the celery I just unpacked from my grocery trip. She definitely loves celery more than I do. [And yes, she walks all over my counter like she is a runaway model or something - resistance is futile...]

I have been so busy at work [totally working the full 8 hours - sigh]. So when I get home, my nights consist of watering my garden so it survives these 102 degree days and noting my cats inappropriate behavior with vegetables.

This leaves little energy or desire to obsess about my month-old plateau.

Honestly, I have thought so little about it - that I don't really have anything to say. If there was something to change I would, but my non-plan is working [eat better, exercise more, even though I am bored with it in the hot weather, suck in a gallon of water a day, and change the non-plan when I feel like it - because I say so].

And maybe the plateau is meant to remind me that this journey is about developing a full life, not waiting for weigh-ins just to be validated by the scale.

Life is now. Not when when the scale says so.

So I am not gonna launch a full-on exercise war at the gym [60 minutes in the morning when I am still unconscious/unable to rebel and I am done]. As far as nutrition, I consider having celery in my home actual progress since it is kinda gross unless I put it in food that actually tastes good.

And I am gonna keep my scale in the closet under mountains of toilet paper [that I keep buying on sale] because there is nothing more boring than tracking the same 2 pounds coming and going.

To me, there are numbers that just matter more today

I mean right now - 8.5 months into battle

That I could never claim before.

56 pounds gone since I started in January.

34 pounds away from goal.

4 pounds away from my 60 pound award.

Size 10 anything on my luscious, curvaceous body.

Size 9 feet [my feet lost weight by one shoe size - I totally wish I knew that was a "thing" before my summer sandal frenzy].

.7 pounds away from a healthy Bacon Mayo Index ;)

And more importantly,

Zero time feeling alone on this journey.

I am not alone.

Zero time hating my vuluptous, curvy, fiercely luscious body.

I am already beautiful.

Zero time lying awake at night wishing I were dead or that I was somebody else because I felt trapped and hopeless in my body.

I am not trapped or hopeless.

Zero time thinking no one could every love me.

I am loved.

Zero time wondering if I will ever win this battle.

I have already won.

And one day closer to a goal that seemed inconceivable 8 and a half short months ago.

When I started this journey in January, I emailed myself a reminder every day saying things like "Hey gorgeous" or "You are beautiful" or "I love you." I sent those emails for months until I started to believe that I am worthy of the life I want. I don't need them anymore.

Now, I do believe and I know that I am worth the wait. Any wait. As long as it takes.

Any time I spend waiting is time I can use to remember just how far I've come...

It is time well-spent.

Besides, waiting isn’t so bad when you love the company.



Armed and amorous.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • STEFFIROCKSIT
    LOVE your blog! Hate celery, though emoticon
    My cat likes oatmeal - it's our morning "battle" b/c it so happens that I like it, too!
    Sweet pic of your kitty!
    emoticon

    Love and lunges,
    Stefanie
    3101 days ago
  • RAD062010
    Your blogs always make me smile.

    Thanks!
    3214 days ago
  • MSCELIA45
    Love the blog.......you're the bestest! emoticon
    3268 days ago
  • TWINKIEQUEEN
    this morning Miss Lily stuck her dainty paw over and over again in my coffee....considering that her paw has also been in her litter box, i decided i no longer needed any more coffee and told her it was all hers...so she immediately stopped dipping and slurping...could she have been grossing me out on purpose?
    3296 days ago
  • THAWRITER22
    That is so flip dang hilarious. The cat just puts the icing on the cake. So proud of you for sharing your journey to wholeness here on Sparkpeople. You are helping and healing so many others through your honesty and openness about your own feelings, struggles, and inner wounds. Thanks for being you. you truly are special. emoticon
    3317 days ago
  • 19LOTIAA70
    WOW! that's all I can say! I am taking the time right now to read alllllllll of your blogs.. this is awesome!!!!!


    3366 days ago
  • TWO_SPARROWS
    Hi Teeny:

    I thought I happened on this blog by chance, but I think it was preordained that I find it.

    I've reached a plateau, too. I've lost interest in a great many things of late, including my progress. I didn't even go for a weigh-in this month and it's the first one I've not done exactly on the "the day". Heck, I've not even been to a workout this week, and I used to go at least three times a week!

    Your admission of what numbers truly matter and that the scale is taking a back seat was thought-provoking, and your early pattern of sending yourself encouraging emails every day borders on genius. How did you get so smart?? :o)

    Thanks for all the wonderful blogs you write.

    Yay YOU!
    emoticon
    3369 days ago
  • MJBHONEY
    I want to eat the strawberries on your blog page . emoticon
    I am very inspired by your writing. Very gifted young lady!! emoticon
    3377 days ago
  • SOFTPRO
    You should write a book...God knows you have the talent for it!
    3382 days ago
  • no profile photo EEBEEGEEBEE
    Love your writting skills!!!You are incredibly talented...Keep writting,I can't get enough of your blogs!
    3383 days ago
  • ROBINSNEWNEST
    Love, Love, Love your blogs. Write on!

    Robin
    3395 days ago
  • GLORIEE
    Oh this is so good! And perfect timing too! I've been chasing the same couple of pounds. I love your list of "numbers that just matter more"! Awesome!!!
    3400 days ago
  • MSPOOH404
    OK...1st, I'm glad to see the celery was still in the plastic while being molested by your cat... emoticon

    2nd...your blogs are emoticon ! You are so open and frank about where you've been and what you've gone through...you make me thing about my own life (with it's ups & downs & twists...whether I want to or not... emoticon ). It's like COCOAMARIA said, you are a really good mentor for those of us who are walking this journey...seemingly in your very footsteps!

    emoticon

    3400 days ago
  • BRWNNTWN
    You are so funny! My cat(s) like to sit on top of the dryer (it is in my kitchen) and watch my every move! They do not like celery - but will play with a baby carrot for hours. U R awesome - and curves are in (according to mwa!) - so keep healthy and the rest shall follow.
    3402 days ago
  • DHALYIA
    I checked this out...apparently, kitties have scent glands in their faces and are rubbing their scent on the veggie, or whatever it is. She is marking her territory...still hella cute.
    3402 days ago
  • COCOAMARIA
    I love your blogs! You are really mentoring me and you don't even know it. Keep them coming emoticon
    3403 days ago
  • LUCKYDOGFARM
    Teeny, i love it that you send yourself emails about how beautiful you are. I just walk right up to any available mirror and say it out loud! my husband gets a kick out of it, but if you can't say it to yourself and believe it, then who will you believe?
    3415 days ago
  • STARGLADE
    LMAO at "Bacon Mayo Index"!!!!!!!!

    Oh--and my Mister Peekaboo gets all hot and bothered over olives. Green ones, not black. Must be green. And heads of cauliflower, too. Celery, not so much.


    3416 days ago
  • 10INPROGRESS
    Love this, pen to paper have you written professionally? if not you should, thanks for sharing.
    3420 days ago
  • GETDONE
    Great ideas--loving the positive affirmations!!!
    Need to send myself some nice emails--loving ME dare I say beautiful me???? emoticon emoticon what I need to do now is believe it--ya, that childhood thing got a lot of us. emoticon
    3421 days ago
  • YESSICASUE
    Great post! So inspiring. I love that picture of your cat. Animals are so amazing, mine make me smile every day :)
    3426 days ago
  • CLASSACT911
    Gorgeous, you rock whatcha ya mama gave ya and keep this positive mind set.

    P.S. Did you choose your own back splash tile I LOVE IT!!!
    3426 days ago
  • VTORIA3
    What a lovely blog and a beautiful celebration of all of your accomplishments. You show us by example how to love ourselves. Your wall paper is a refreshing departure from the norm, LOVE it. It seems you are highly spirited and intend to live life by squeezing out every bit of joy it has to offer. emoticon

    PS I enjoyed your gardens on your home page. Brilliant display of your green thumb. Thanks for sharing them.
    3427 days ago
  • LRSILVER
    I love this blog!! keep it up
    3427 days ago
  • JILLINWONDER
    My cat goes nuts over the Valerian I have for my study of herbal medicine. Valerian is what Valium is made from, and since she's a neurotic and high-strung torty, I figure she's giving herself a dose of what she needs, lol! Wonder what celery does for her? ;-)
    3427 days ago
  • SNOKB04
    You cat is my new hero! :)
    3427 days ago
  • ONE6OH
    As always eloquent and timely. I love your blog posts. Keep it up and way to go.
    3427 days ago
  • PIRATEHEAD1204
    I agree with you. Life is now, so enjoy it! Love yourself! You are awesome.

    emoticon
    3428 days ago
  • MARCYNA
    Love this blog...I admit I sometimes still think nobody loves me, but I know it's just a habit I have to set myself free from emoticon
    3428 days ago
  • WIGIME
    Thanks TB, very good blog post. You made some excellent points.
    3428 days ago
  • ACIMPEGGY
    Have you heard the old line my grandma used to say? It's, "Men perspire, women sweat and ladies GLOW!"


    Thanks for your comment on my page, dear.

    You show as much as is comfy for you...just remember...you often get what you ask for ;-)

    emoticon
    3429 days ago
  • HAPPYCRICKET
    I love it! I am with you on this, 100%. I have been at the same weight (268--not like I've gotten even below 200!) for 4 months now. And it is a triumph, because I am still eating well, exercising, loving and taking care of myself. If nothing changed, I would be okay. For me, I think this time is revealing that I have some underlying medical issues...I am exploring those with my doctor. But if it hadn't been for my determination not to let myself down, I would have given up, and never realized that the problem wasn't my willpower. Sometimes, the only way out is through....
    Your cat is so cute!Too bad they can't make dinner and have it waiting... *sigh*!
    Christine
    3430 days ago
  • WESTCOASTGIRL2
    You have a way with words, and whomever it was that taught you to think the way you do deserves a medal. Good on ya for sharing with us all. You make this a better place for us all.

    You are doing a fabulous job, adjusting your attitude as necessary to achieve your ultimate goal. I'm proud of you!
    3430 days ago
  • IDESERVE
    Your blog today was exactly what I needed. I have been moping around not wanting to do anything or be around anyone. I have so much anger inside. I am angry at myself for not being able to stick to my plan. I am angry b/c I am parenting my child alone. I feel alone and wish I could find the strength to be happy about just one thing in my life.

    I am going to give your zero time approach a try. Thank you!
    3431 days ago
  • KELSCATT
    you are certainly beautiful inside and out..
    this blog is spot on... as usual...

    LOVE your cat and the celery, my friends cat is in LOVE with bananas - funny little things...
    3432 days ago
  • IAMALIGHTHOUSE
    I love your blogs.!
    3432 days ago
  • MARSHAB83
    Thank you again (!!!!) for another wonderful blog post. You brought a smile to my face. Thank you for sharing with us! And great photo!
    3432 days ago
  • ITLADYEE
    Congrats to taking the time to appreciate where you are. Sometimes we are racing to get to the finish line so quickly that we trample the beautiful flowers on the way instead of stopping to enjoy them.


    emoticon
    3433 days ago
  • ANNFELIX
    You have heard it a million times but, your smile is just beautiful, so I believe that it is a reflection of what is inside of you.

    Plateaus allow us to view where we came from and where we are headed. So my sister lift those beautiful arms up to the Master throw your head back, plant your feet wide and let loose with that sound that is deep within you.
    Let it simmer, bubble, tumble, rush over and ROAR out of you. And when the quiet comes you will know what to do.

    Love you, like a daughter.
    3433 days ago
  • JMARIES51
    Since I have been away for awhile, I look forward to catching up on your blogs. I want to congratulate you for not giving in to past behaviors and pushing yourself to continue the postive changes. You are doing fantastic, and I am out here as one of your Spark fans. lots of hugs, Joann emoticon
    3433 days ago
  • REENIT
    Ok - Ive been away for a bit and darn, I missed your blogs. So tonight as I am reconfirming my commitment to myself, your blog was where I started. So all I have to say is thank you. You are beautiful through and through and though Ive not been "bad" Ive also not been treating my body as good as I should so back to the gallons of water and yes I actually eat celery or bell peppers for snack alreay - love the things so Im there with the cat :).... Have a beautiful day.
    Laureen
    3433 days ago
  • ROBINANN09
    I love your attitude!!! You are amazing!! Thanks for inspiring all of us. emoticon
    3434 days ago
  • SPARKROZ
    emoticon
    3435 days ago
  • TOPFLIGHTSPARK
    Your cat is hilarious! She clearly loves celery a lot more than you do...congrats on your journey! You are LOVED and in GREAT company!
    3435 days ago
  • SM-ARTGIRL
    Warrior woman!
    I salute your tenacity.
    Your cat looks much like Bernie, the cat model who chooses to be my companion.
    It is time for me to begin to embrace my independence also!
    I just worked out how to automate some nice words to myself on my iPhone calendar...
    You are looking so gorgeous that I think it's time to be even nicer to myself!
    3436 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/25/2010 10:46:05 PM
  • LIVING-BETTER
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    YOU ARE MY HERO!
    WOOHOO!!!
    K.
    3436 days ago
  • 1D1W1Y
    It is amazing that I know someone as intelligent and thought provoking as you are... AND you have a garden my Mama covets :) No plateau...your body is just letting you know who is boss :) You got this....
    3437 days ago
  • STILLPOINT
    You have already won! Have a great day, gorgeous!

    Mer
    emoticon
    3437 days ago
  • KATE07231
    That pic of your cat is so cute :)
    3437 days ago
  • TALLYCAT13
    Your cat just totally made my day emoticon
    3437 days ago
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