Learning about failure
Monday, August 16, 2010
I haven't written a blog (or much else) recently. I have been living my life, finding new hobbies and pushing myself out of my comfort zone!
Since joining Spark I have talked a good game about all the things I wanted to try, all the things I wanted to do but until recently it has just been talk. In all areas of my life I stay away from things in which I don't believe I will excel. I don't put myself out there for fear that others will see me fail. I am learning a new way to live....
My husband and I have found a trainer that has agreed to work with us together. We go 1 or 2 days per week depending on schedule and well, let's admit it, $$ comes into play too! The past few Saturdays at 8 AM Josh and I have been at Mission Fitness, Glastonbury, CT working our butts off. At first I didn't want to work out with Josh. I thought I would be embarassed and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep up. Josh is in really good shape! He has worked really hard to get there. The first week was hard, not just physically but emotionally. There were moments that I wanted to scream "I can't do this", I thought the trainer was on crack and kept thinking "can't he see that I'm not in this kind of shape". I seriously didn't know by the end of that first hour if I would ever go back...Well, I've gone back every time for a variety of reasons. 1. I made a commitment that I would stick to do this. 2. Being able to focus on Josh when I'm at my breaking point is total motivation. He NEVER gives up. And that reminds me that he never gives up on me either and that brings tears to my eyes. I forgot the pain I'm in because I am focused watching him work through the pain. 3. I like the feeling of accomplishment that I have at the end of the hour. That is the feeling I'm learning to crave. The "I just did everything the trainer threw at me and survived" feeling is addictive!
I bought Josh a gift certificate to a local bike shop for his birthday. He used it on a hybrid bike that he's been wanting. He kept coming home from long trail rides talking about how enjoyable it is. A few weeks ago I decided to tag along. I haven't gone bike riding in years. I used Josh's old bike, totally the wrong style, size, etc for me. We went to the Airline Trails to ride. If you are anywhere near CT and haven't checked out the Airline Trail you have to! It is miles and miles of packed trails through woods, streams, lakes and the most beautiful scenery ever. I rode about 6 miles that first night (nothing to write home about). I was slow, my a** hurt for days and my legs were like jello. But I went back for more! I bought myself a fairly cheap bike to get me through the rest of this year and have done several 12 + mile rides. I love how peaceful it is to ride on those trails. I like the feeling of competing against myself, seeing how far I can push myself.
I am not going to win any races any time soon and I'm ok with that! Maybe someday.
For the present time I like that I'm learning that failure isn't trying and falling, it's never trying that is true failure!
Take care all!