Tuesday, August 10, 2010
This week I realized something... there is more to restarting my life then just a new job and new city (which if you are keeping track, neither has happened!). While look at some old pictures I realized... WOW I have gained A LOT of weight. Now, I wasn't going to say anything... I am a firm believer that when you tell people you are on a diet they will tell you "you look great" or "have you lost weight" regardless on if they actually feel that way.... they are just saying that to be nice. So, I tend not to tell people when I'm trying... and felt I would do the same here. But... nearing a point I never in a million years thought I would reach... it's time to do something. Seriously, look at this picture... the one on the left is from 2004, shortly after my college my old roomie got married... this was at her wedding. The one on the right... last month... yeah... 6 years and about 60 pounds. That's not right.
So why am I sharing my embarrassing pictures with the world wide web? Because... I am also using it as a way to keep up motivation. I need to walk more and eat less... drink more water and spend some time not in front of the computer... and I will need people to not tell me I look great, but to tell me that it's good I'm getting out there, etc.
Now, it wasn't easy putting on this weight, and I know it will be less easy taking it off.
I have never been "thin" I have always been over weight, but never to the point that I was... well kinda grossed out by my body. And the weight went on slowly, and I was NEVER short and excuse. It was a combination of working long hours, working overnights, stopping at McDonalds once a week for dinner, eating everything off my plate, not exercising... then it got worse when I got in a relationship with an AMAZING guy who loves me no matter what... which is great... except when you stop worrying about not pigging out in front of him. And I have confidence in myself, a lot more then I did in 2004. It's weird that while I'm bigger, I feel better about ME, I no longer cry in the dressing room at the mall... but I also can only shop in ONE store. Not good!! I long for the days when I could shop anywhere, and have guys look at me... and no in that "should she be eating that" kind of way.
So here is what I am asking from you... to hold me accountable, to support and love me... but to not let me eat 3 slices of pizza and ice cream in front of you! I'm going to start with little things, but I'm hoping I can ask for a whole new wardrobe for Christmas... or at least smaller jeans.