Oh. My. God! I missed blogging yesterday!!! *cries* I don't know what happened, dear Sparkers....well, yes. I do. Once again, another family function with Shane's family. Another load of pizza. Another cookout. One after the other after the other this weekend! *sigh* If I don't see another hot dog for the next 6 months, it will be too soon. So after the birthday party yesterday, I didn't feel so good. I slept horribly the night before (this used to be the norm for me...not anymore...so when it happened the other night I felt just BLAH all day!) and I was hot and tired and just wanted to be alone. So I apologized to everyone at the party after I put in time for cake, singing H-B-Day, and watching the boys go at each other with silly string, and then I went home.
What I got done after that? About four hours of relaxing. Four loads of laundry, five if the count the last load I threw in before going to bed and asked Hubs to change. About 6pm, I realized that it was time to either put up or shut up. Zumba class was in an hour, and I could choose to loaf around some more and do laundry, or I could bite the bullet and just go to class. Bite it, I did. I wasn't moving quite as energetically as last week, but I was there, and I was putting in as much effort as I could muster. After Zumba, I went straight home and put the dog on his leash and off we went for about a half hour walk. We go anywhere from a little over a mile to 1.5 miles, usually. This time I stuck to the lower end, because I was exhausted....and thirsty!
So, yes, I was "too tired to workout" ...or, at least, I tried that excuse on myself. And then I told myself that I was not taking that BS from myself and I made myself move. Class again tonight. One great thing about short weeks is that I get off in enough time to do Zumba all week. Of course, I'll miss Thursday, but I'll get in 4 days if I remember this Saturday...depending on when Ethan's football camp is that day...
Still stressing over Thursday, but trying to pull myself out of it. What will be, will be. I can only do the best I can, be the best I can be, and be confident enough to make them want me. I can only motivate me, though. I can't make them choose me. I can't make them pay me enough so that my family doesn't want to kill me. I can't make everything work out, so I'm controlling what little I have control over. After that? Let the cards fall where they may. My mom used to say, "If it's meant to be, it will happen. If not, you were meant for something else." *shrug*
Finally, today is trash day. So I've decided I'm throwing out the negativity today.
My haircut looks cute!
My face looks thinner!
My thighs feel smaller!
My legs are stronger!
It's easier to get up a flight of stairs!
It's easier to walk up a hill!
It's easier to control the dog now that he's having regular walks!
I am a strong, motivated, intelligent, beautiful, passionate, creative, powerful warrior woman. I will conquer today and the rest of my life. I will make today count. I will make today something to remember tomorrow. And I will wake tomorrow ready to conquer a new day. One step closer to my goals. One step closer to becoming a better me, the best me.