Proclaiming we need to double the hours in the day!

Seriously...there isn't enough hours in the darn day/week/month. Welcome to my world. My day is starting at 4:15-4:45am (variance due to the fact that I am compulsive and evidently a bit of a worry wart). I am up, drag my arse up to dress, grab meds, check email to see what I can answer while I pull on my socks. I leave my house at 5:15. I arrive at 5:30 to find this child AWAKE and full of smiles and demanding attention and ELMO. I scramble for coffee, clean house, entertain child and dog (boston terrier) and ponder the fact the Barney is kinda creepy in the way I am pretty sure he is a freak hiding behind that slightly overshaped purple dinosaur outfit. Eventually the child goes to take a nap - for 20 minutes to an hour (if I am blessed). In that time I manage to get some reading and writing done for my Al Anon and do some laundry. Girl wakes up and then we get ready to go to my house since I have Abe who is in major depression from his schedule being blown out of the water. We drive to my house - I watch my little one "dance" to the music. This girl LOVES music. She taps her toes and pumps her fist to dance music. She bounces her head and then switches to rocking her head to rap/r&b (because the beat changes up frequently). She rocks back and forth to alternative music. She clearly is her mom and Noni's kid - she LOVES her music.

Girlfriend still isn't walking and her "talking" still isn't clear beyond mama, dog, and yelling at the dog (jeez go figure..lol). Considering she was slow to crawl, a preemie, and considering the circumstances of her environment - I am not panicking quite yet. I took her to her doc appointment and I have a referral for her to be evaluated when I want it. They recognize the situation and that there is no consistency between the two households. My guess is she will walk at any point here - it is just quicker for her to crawl right now.

I am basically going from their house, spending time at my place to clean and hang out with Abe. I either walk Abe if the weather is good with the baby (which lately the weather has sucked)..or we hang until late afternoon (and I do Sparks), I bring Abe to take Aliegh home, get her fed and changed, finish up babysitting, and then walk Abe at our old beach.

I struggle these days with workouts...struggling with balance...struggling with feeling like I have a life that isn't revolving around the daughter and the baby. I think struggling is the key word. Diet is hanging in there but I think that is due to having a strong sense of knowing what is working for me which is South Beach. I have found another beach to walk Abe which is only 10 minutes drive from my house (I live 10 minutes walking from one beach or 10 minutes drive to another) and it is much more accessible for me. I can walk Abe and I can walk Abe and take Ali in the jogging stroller on that beach. My guess is that it will help lessen some of the stress right now. That and eventually hearing that day care assistance has been approved and lined up....

I apologize to my teams - you have been neglected horribly from me. I just haven't found my balance yet. Honestly I have found myself pushing myself to go to bed early (ie normal bedtime is 1130pm earliest for me and I have pushed myself to go to bed by 930 and 10pm) because I really need to rest my body somehow which is collapsing on me. The other component is my sanity - I NEED processing time. That time where my brain can just flow and process all the crap of the day. I don't do well when I feel like I am pushed up against the wall and well of late - that is exactly where my back has been.

I missed a yearly event I normally go to this weekend due to a combination of I had a baby and the weather sucked. If it had just been me, I would have gone - but there was no way I was going to bring Aliegh out into potentially bad weather. Next weekend I have the weekend off (as does the mister who took it off per my request a month ago). I have a weekend of Pride festivities to attend to and normally that is a family filled activity. It will be family oriented but at this point, I seriously need to recharge and take some "me" time so it will be slightly less family and bit more focused on finding some relaxation on my part.

*hugs* here is to all my friends - may you have a good week!

Aliegh and Abe "sunning" themselves on the deck and Abe going for a kiss

And my sentiments (and Aliegh's on the week's summation):