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RONNIEKAY
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Did it again.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Well, I did it again. Allowed my own insecurities about my weight affect my thinking and behavior.

I went to Target this morning with my boys. My oldest son said he saw some friends of ours whom I hadn't seen in awhile. Later, as I passed by the makeup aisle, I saw her and her daughter from the back. My first instinct was to go over and say hi, see how she's doing. But, within the next second the thoughts started "look how great she looks (tiny little blonde)" "you're so fat, what is she going to think". By the end of it all, I just went to the check out and left.

I have to say, I'm REALLY ashamed of myself. I can't believe I am so self focused that I'd put my insecurities over another person. It's truly shaming.

I'm really tired of this whole weight issue having so much control over my life - constantly thinking about what I am or am not eating, constantly thinking about what does and doesn't fit, how I look, what others think.

I NEED to get victory over this thing - total and complete victory - and it needs to be soon!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SARAHTAIT
    Well honey-it doesn't have to be a weight issue to feel like that. I have lost the weight and still feel like that. It can be just that I feel yucky that day or am not wearing something "nice" or just don't feel like socializing that keeps me from wanting to visit with people and going the other way. I guess my point is that it doesn't have to be all about weight. We thin people have insecurities too so gather up your courage and come to us knowing that!!!
    3561 days ago
  • STEPHANON
    I have done the exact same thing before. Sometimes I have even avoided going places where I know I'll run into people who haven't seen me in a while, because I don't want them to notice that I've gained weight. It stinks, and I sympathize with you.
    3561 days ago
  • no profile photo JANETK53
    WOW! My friend....we really need to look at the fact that we are what we are....who we are and take some deep breathes and forgive ourselves here. We have to find that little voice and have a chat.....we are better people than we think we are and we have to start picking ourselves up and putting that right foot forward to make us feel better....really we do! I got on the scale this morning....and I'm beating myself up again....we both have to stop doing this. Today is a new day and we need to focus on whatever is keeping us in this rut. It is time to look in that mirror and put a smile on our faces and really get out there and do what we really want to do to make ourselves happy & healthy....Let's Do This Together....Let's Start NOW!
    Jan
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    3562 days ago
  • KELLYGIRL1977
    Ah, I am sorry. I completely know the feeling. I live in a smallish town and I shuffle around people Every single time I go to the store and nine times out of ten, it is bc I don't want them to see how I look.

    Bottom line is that God has to change you~you will never change you! You already know this, but give it to Him and He will work it out!

    emoticon
    3562 days ago
  • HKDAWSON
    Channel that! Look at everything you miss out on with this attutude, and next time you are going to stray from your plan, say to yourself Is this brownie worth feeling terrible over?

    You can do it!
    3562 days ago
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