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A Tragedy Re-visited

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Almost a year ago, I shared a horrific story about the apparent suicide death of a woman I knew who was the mother of 4 young children, the youngest of whom is the same age and was a pre-school classmate of my son. It caused a stir in our community, as you can imagine, and it took me a long time to be able to put out of my head.

I work for my city in the position of city clerk. That means, that among other things, my office maintains all vital records, including death certificates. In situations where individuals die under questionable circumstances and autopsies must be performed, death certificates are incomplete, pending the outcome of the autopsy. Being the clerk of a community of almost 50,000, with a hospital, I certainly don't see most of the death certificates that are filed in my office. But just a few minutes ago, I opened the final death certificate from the state medical examiner on this lovely, beautiful woman whose death still haunts me, and it of course confirms what has been believed all along. I have no idea why it has taken so long to arrive, indeed I had no idea it was still pending 11 months after the event, but here it is, a stark reminder that our world is complex and sometimes not at all a pleasant place to be.

What makes this woman's death all the more tragic is that for the past 3 months, I have had the opportunity to watch her two youngest children play basketball on my son's basketball team, a girl and a boy. They are tiny little kids, smaller than most their age, but they are both beautiful children, great basketball players, and, most importantly, good, nice kids. Every week, I have watched them play hard, score more baskets than most of their peers put together, smiling and laughing, as apparently carefree as any of their teammates. And as I watch, my heart breaks, every single time.

So today, I offer a prayer for this woman, and for those kids and their two siblings. May she rest in peace, may their lives not be clouded by the events of last April forever. Don't know if that's possible on either front, but I do pray for it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a sad story and hopefully those kids have a great family to help them get beyond what happened.
    3882 days ago
    May God abundantly bless ALL OF US (and especially YOU, my friend, and those children), and those we love, in every way that we require. May he hold us gently in the palm of his hand in a very personal way, and may we rest in the fullness of his love, his grace, his strength, his wisdom, his rescue, his redemption, his healing, his inspiration, his restoration and his mercy as we require it! May we carry in our hearts always an extra special awareness of God's great love for us, may we feel his sweet and gentle touch upon our lives, and may we see his miracles all around us.... and may we, even in our darkest moments, have the courage to open our hearts and our lives to those blessings. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!

    {{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
    3891 days ago
    Such a sad story. I'm glad the kids seem to be doing well.
    3892 days ago
    That is such a sad story, but it's happy to hear that the kids are doing well. I will keep them in my prayers.

    3892 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6473944
    So sad! Lifting up the children in prayer.
    3893 days ago
    Oh Tina~
    I remember last April when that happened, and how upset you were, and how it affected me. That was right around the time of my surgery and I remember thinking "this surgery is semi-elective" what if something goes terribly wrong. I wrote letters to Tim, and all three kids, telling them the "Pearls" that I wanted them to take with them if I didn't come home.
    I wanted them to know that life was worth living, and to its fullest.

    I never shared them, since all went better than well. But I do pray for that poor mom who's soul was so clouded by whatever her despair was that she couldn't find a better path. I hope she left them something to know she loved them. I pray for her kids that continue to thrive on the inside and outside and they have someone wonderful to talk to when this comes forward in their lives.

    Prayers for you, too. What a shocker, so see that, what memories it must have uncovered. Look at their smiles and remember that their mom can see them, too, and just perhaps she is finally healing.

    Love you
    3893 days ago
    My husbands father and brother in law both committed suicide - the effects it leaves on the family's is tragic. Such a waste of a life and the lives it messes up. My prayers go out to her young children.
    3893 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Yet another reason to revisit "I am m Brother's Keeper",, we are all herer to help those children, whether it is to invite them over toplay, car pool them, pray for them, etc...

    We never know how much of an impact we have on another by every action we take,, a smile, a remark, a compliment..
    These children are destined for something better now,, perhaps a step mom...

    3893 days ago
    Dearest T,

    I too, will offer a prayer for this woman and her surviving family. She must have been in a lot of pain to do what she did, we can only hope as Christians that she is at peace now.

    You have a wonderful heart and I will also say a prayer for you that you see happiness in those children always.

    3893 days ago
    What a reminder of how resilient children can be sometimes. I'm sending up a prayer that they can continue on with their lives without their mother's death looming over them.
    3893 days ago
    What an awful story and how tragic for those poor children. I will pray for them as well.
    3893 days ago
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