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BIPPITY

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Confession

Monday, January 25, 2010

So, honesty is the best policy right? Okay then, here goes...

I am up 6.6 pounds from last week.

That's a gain of almost a pound a day.

On an intellectual, scientific level, I know that I did not consume the extra 23,100 calories that would cause that sort of weight gain, but that doesn't mean that I'm not upset and disappointed.

I've never been one to experience large weight fluctuations due to water retention, TOTM, etc. This leads me to believe that part of this weigh gain is for real and that the entirety of it cannot simply be explained away as "water weight."

I cannot in good conscience keep up my "90 lbs lost with SP" avatar. I had to take it down and put up another picture instead.

I could've focused on the food I was eating this past few days and made good choices. Instead, I ate and drank without consideration.

I feel bad for the people that I've let down. I feel bad for my team members in the Biggest Loser Challenge; they're working hard to lose weight and I feel like my gain negates their efforts. I feel like I've let me husband down; he's been so supportive of me. One woman at work told me I was inspiring her; I feel like I've let her down, too.

I shouldn't have had anything called a bacon-maple-peanut-butter cupcake.

I shouldn't have had a burger and fries from McDonald's, either.

Beating myself up isn't going to be really helpful. What's done is done. I can't go back in the past and change my choices.

I've been stuck on a plateau for almost two months now and it's time to change that. Plateaus are your bodies way of saying that what you're doing isn't working any more.

Even though I hate doing it, I need to continue to exercise.

I read a blog from someone here on SP (Can't remember her name) and she said that she was going to "focus on the process" of losing weight instead of the numbers. I'm going to try this, too. For the next 4 weeks, my husband will enter in my numbers for the BLC, but I won't be changing my weight tracker. If, at the end of four weeks, I haven't lost anything I will go see my doctor.

I haven't been using my weight and fitness trackers very well. I will start using them every day.

This is a set-back. No doubt about that. However, I struggle with an "all or nothing" mentality. I am going to try very hard to not let this be the thing that completely derails me.

I will not hyper focus on either the journey or the destination. Rather, I will realize that both are important and deserve my time and attention.

I am better than these damn 6.6 pounds!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RUNNER4LIFE08
    Bippity, I actually had this happen to me in December. Within a week I gained 8 pounds! How the heck can that happen... I was eating the same, working out the same, and drinking my water. I couldn't understand it and it was stressing me out BIG TIME. So I put my foot down and made a decision not to weigh in anymore but once a month. Well in January I did cheat and weighed in twice (once before my vacation and then after). I actually lost those 8 pounds plus more. So I am liking this not weighing myself thing. It is hard, but I am not stressing out anymore about it.

    I think you have a great plan with your hubby helping out. You can do it.... cross over that bridge and don't look back!

    You are an inspiration to me! You have been doing awesome and with how much you have lost, it is amazing! You are one strong woman and you will get through this!

    Keep your chin up and never give up!
    3810 days ago
  • BIPPITY
    Aww thanks everyone for your kind words-you're all making me feel better!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3814 days ago
  • BECKYLIVES
    Bippity, I know several things. You're human, you're an inspiration to me, you're an amazing teammate, and you're motivation and desire to beat the gain is awesome! I'm glad to hear about your mental changes and getting back into the basics. NEWSTART (Audra) had a setback on her way down too. It was THEE thing to "kick her in the butt" and get her back to the basics again. You can't go through this entire journey without a setback or twelve. We just can't. I had a setback this week too. Guess what? I did just what you did. Pulled up my britches and got back to it. With MORE desire and MORE motivation to get it done. It's all a part of the journey and WE CAN DO IT!

    Bip, I believe in you. I've had the pleasure of watching you on your journey and being a part of it as well. No you have not let anyone of us down. Don't believe that you have, cause it's just not true!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3814 days ago
  • JEN_BACK2BASICS
    Bippity, you have not let anyone down!! You are an inspiration, and I know that one day soon I will be there to witness your "goal reached" blog. You've been doing so well for so long, it's understandable that a reverse in your direction is upsetting. If you ate something with bacon in it AND McDonald's food, you had a ton of sodium. A couple days of healthy eating and plenty of water should be enough to get that bloat out of your system.
    emoticon
    3814 days ago
  • KRISSYGRAPE
    emoticon I can say as your teammate you have not let me down; in fact, quite the opposite. You are doing this for yourself and I completely understand the all or nothing mentality I also struggle with this. You are doing amazingly kudos on not letting a small setback get you completely off track. You are still an inspiration to me emoticon
    3814 days ago
  • NIKKI19752
    Hugs to you Bippity!
    As your fellow panther we are proud of you and your accomplishments. You have come a LONG way. You are human and we all make choices that dont help sometimes.
    Your honesty is wonderful!
    I just started on my 100 pound weigh loss journey, down 30 pounds...I messed up the whole holiday season. But we keep trying, we keep showing up and doing what we have to do!

    Proud of you!! emoticon
    3814 days ago
  • N0M0R3_J1GGL3S
    Just wipe the slate now. You've made a mistake, done your time (feeling guilty), confessed & accepted. Now you just need to start fresh. Don't look back... just keep looking ahead :O)
    Good luck
    3814 days ago
  • BUDBABE10
    I feel your pain! Been there, done that! I have seen a 5.5 lb weight gain in one week, so I know exactly where you're coming from. Does that make it any better? Of course not, but I LUV your honesty about it!

    I have focused so hard on the # on the scale for too long also. I deserve the lbs I have put on. I truly deserve every one of them!! I agree with "focusing on the process" - that's where I need to get back to. I have decided not to weigh in every week - I was obsessed with the scale & need to let that go. So I have been checking once every other week or about once a month. I have found it takes the pressure off.

    Best wishes to u. emoticon
    You've come a long way & have so much to be proud of! WE can do this!! Pam
    3814 days ago
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