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Nov. 21st

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Well, this is one of the days that I was not looking forward to. It has been 2yrs today since my first born left me for another place. I would like to believe that he is watching over me and that he is with his father and brother. I forced myself to go for my walk and to concentrate on family coming for Thanksgiving but the pain in my heart feels so unbearable at times. I keep asking why? Why them and not me? When will the pain go away or at least subside some? I want so much to be with them but at the same time I don't want to leave my other kids or grand daughter. People tell me that I am such a strong woman but I don't want to be, I want my husband and boys back!!! I know that will not happen but I still want it. They would not want me to be like they would want me to be happy. that is so hard to do when you have lost people that you cared soo much for. I know someday I will find that all elusive happiness again or I hope I do.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know your pain and i know this was written a long time ago but the pain is always with you somewhere in your mine. I lost my husband after 36 years and I am by myself a lot. I keep busy as best I can because I also lost my job of 28 years after an illness. I am stopping by to see how you are doing and i see you have lost weight. I don't know if you are still on spark because you haven't posted a blog but I will be stopping by to check on you. Continue with your healthy eating, routine exercise and reaching your goals. God bless you.
    3942 days ago
    Hang in there.

    Focus on the people who are still here on this side, like your cutie granddaughter...
    4230 days ago
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