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Self Hatred

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Aqua-fibro instructor tells us at the end of our stretching exercising to look inside ourselves and send unconditional love and accceptance to our bodies. How can one do that when you have all the health issues I have? I have asked this to many people and no one has answered the question to the point that I can apply it to my life to make it happen. It is hard to find a reason to make yourself better with self-hatred...and ever harder to love your self even though you are not the picture of health. To love yourself unconditional like you do your child.
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  • no profile photo CRITTERMAMA912
    emoticon back my friend! Remember Beach team? I wish I could give you gentle hugs emoticon emoticon I am sorry you are dealing with so much pain. When my fibro acts up, it can be unbearable. I can relate to the self-loathing issues, too, due to my current condition and things I am still dealing with from my childhood. I belong to a cool team where we talk and learn about how to love yourself so you can love others. It is called 'Inspired and Challenged by Joyce Meyer' if you might want to check it out. Sometimes it can be a day by day or even hour by hour situation, but just take the time to be kind to yourself and not too hard on yourself. SparkMail me if you like.
    emoticon
    4281 days ago
  • MSSUNBUG
    I so understand and relate to this. I'm a firm believer that the universe sends you the messages you need to learn when you're ready to learn them. So a few weeks back, like 9820384092834 people all told me inside of a few days that being healthier all starts with "loving yourself."

    I was like, "What a load." ha.

    What I realized is that to me, taking care of myself and loving myself meant that I didn't give myself dietary restrictions, but rather let myself derive comfort from food choices. And it meant that I gave myself a break when I'd eaten 9820398420 calories worth of oreos.

    And how to love this body that ails me and that I detest seeing the mirror every day??

    I'm still working on it, and that's probably the most important thing I learned--it doesn't happen by snapping your fingers, and it really takes a lot of effort to treat yourself with love and think of yourself lovingly if you're so used to not doing that. What's helped me is to realize that I have these really concrete long-term goals and visions of what I want my body to be capable of. And feeding myself, even in the name of comfort, isn't going to get me there. What will get me there is to stay aware of the goals I have for myself and do the things for my body that will help me get to those goals. THAT'S love.

    It's also helped me to think of myself as having a little girl inside of me (you mentioned unconditional love like your child). She's the one who wants to be fed fun foods all the time and be lazy on her couch. I wouldn't let a daughter (if I had one) go hog wild on food and be a couch potato--out of love for her. So why would I let the daughter inside do that?

    And whatever this body has going on, it's the only one in this world I have to work with. So I could waste my time hating it and doing things that will make it more unhealthy and make me hate it MORE (as in, NOT diet and exercise).... OR I could take steps every day to bring me closer to having the peace with my body that I badly want by feeding it well and moving it more.

    And it's a process every single day that I need to think about.

    Anyway, I offer that as my little two cents since I feel like I really relate to this blog you posted! Good luck and think on this one. It's great that you're even asking these questions and thinking the way you are. That's how you'll get to a place where you stand any kind of chance of loving yourself, really.
    4281 days ago
  • CELEST
    I truly do sympathise with you. My dil also suffers with self disgust. She is 27 and gorgeous, pretty face, fabulous straight black hair, super body...yet hates herself. We have worked long and hard with her for the 4 yrs that she has been in our family and she is improving slightly, but only slightly and it takes so little for her to regress. I don't know what the answer is personally. I feel for both of you and other sufferers of all kinds of maladies and wish I had a magic want to take away your pain. Sadly only God can do that and you can work in harmony with him in the meantime.
    Hope you feel better tomorrow.
    xxx
    4281 days ago
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