I think I forget who I am- fearless or fearful?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
This past week started out with my teeth and knuckles clenched. My mission was to get back on my healthy program and stay on!
After the first few days it actually became quite easy. I've even managed not to mindlessly eat during my most difficult time of the day (evening) by staying outdoors and working in the yard. I can proudly say I've had a full week "ON PLAN" for eating and plenty of exercise. I look forward to stepping on the scale tomorrow morning. This week has been enjoyable and fulfilling. I'm fearless at the moment but fearful of my next fall...
I've lived and survived most things in my life by believing I WILL get to the other side of life's challenges wiser and stronger than before. For people who have known me through the years I'm described as grounded, strong, steady and able. I've applied my "I can" belief system far to everything in my life with lasting results, but not to my personal battle with my weight. Perhaps I believe (d) that it was too personal and with roots so deep I was powerless to change, or to change something so deep within myself would weaken other parts of my character. I'm proud of my abilities and of my character shaped by the challenges that have made me who I am. I question the fearful side of me that works so hard to keep me physically under the wraps of excess weight.
Is it fear of inner change, or of losing a barrier between me and the world?