Suddenly, the Going Has Gotten Tough
Monday, May 04, 2009
My alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, as it does every weekday morning, and as I do every morning, I hit the snooze button. When it went off again, I started thinking about getting up, and I realized that the right side of my body, from my hip down my let to my knee, were very sore. I lay there and tried to stretch it out a bit, but boy, it hurt, and I just felt yucky.. So, I hit the snooze button again, thinking okay, 7 more minutes and I'm getting up. But I felt no better or more awake 7 minutes later.. So finally, I just shut off the alarm and set #2, which is set for 5:30, the time I get up on work mornings that I don't work out. At 5:30, I dragged myself out of bed. I felt, and feel, crappy. My body is sore, I am STILL sleepy, I just want to go home and go to sleep. It certainly isn't because I didn't get enough sleep last night, because I went to bed at 9:15...
So, I'm sitting here realizing that I'm in a real rut. I haven't done ST in at least a month. I have been trying to up my daily cardio workouts to about 45 minutes, and no matter what I have tried, I have not done so with any consistency. My eating has not been good. I start the days out well usually, but I snack on this, grab a handful of that, eat more than I should of something else.
I have lost my groove entirely.
I wake up every morning and think okay, baby steps, Tina, just a little at a time. And I usually start well, but somewhere along the way, pretty much every day, I slip up, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, but I'm not building on anything, I'm not inspired, I'm not "feeling it," and, this is the worst part: I can't seem to care. The scale has crept up a couple of pounds over the past couple of weeks.
One thing I'm noticing about me over the past few months is that I seem to be in a constant state of PMS, crampy, hungry, grumpy... When TOM finally arrives, it's better for a little while, but the PMS seems to be spreading out over longer and longer times. I'm due for my annual GYN appointment in June, and I'm wondering whether I should wait, or schedule an appointment sooner. I just don't know, but I don't like it and I hate feeling this way. Don't know what I think putting it out here is going to do, but I have now, so we'll see..