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Too Much Negativity

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

This really has nothing to do with weight loss, or the journey to health we are all on. It is, however, somewhat related to healthy living. It is about the negativity we are surrounded by in our world. I just read two articles in the Boston Globe. One was about a book on Abraham Lincoln that was taken out from the Library of Congress when John Kennedy was a Senator. It was among his pre-presidential belongings, and has just recently been discovered to be "very overdue" to the Library of Congress. The second article is about the grandson of a great Red Sox player named Carl Yastremski, and how this kid's dad passed away and how his grandfather is helping him work towards what may end up being a future in the major leagues.

Neither of these stories is really in any way controversial. They are basically human interest stories about a book taken out of the library by a former famous politician, and a famous grandfather trying to step in to help his fatherless grandson.

Man, if you could see the online comments in response to these stories. Is Teddy or Caroline going to pay the fine on the overdue book? What about people who get in real trouble because they don't return library books? If the kid's grandfather wasn't famous, would you be writing about him? What about the thousands of other kids with baseball talent you aren't writing about? What terrible journalism this is!

Plenty of people responded to these comments with the same "what's wrong with you people?" sentiment I'm expressing here, but as a window into our society, I have to say it's just downright sad that there are so many people out there who feel the need to spew the hatred... These were just plain mean comments, made by people who use pseudonyms and hide behind them. I wonder how many of these comments would be made if the people making them had to identify themselves?

I think this practice by newspapers of allowing people to comment online and so anonymously is just plain unhealthy for us as a society. I think it puts people in a state of mind that carries over into every day living. I mean, healthy discussion is one thing, but there's nothing healthy about this stuff..it's just plain mean. I'm very sensitive to the issue of free speech, but I think that free speech should be coupled with accountability. If you want to say something about someone, fine, but you should be held accountable for it, you shouldn't be allowed to say whatever you want without having to put your name to it.

It's just not right.

I just had to say it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo TREASUREDANGEL
    HI TINA!

    I AGREE WITH YOU! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KINDNESS, CARING AND COMPASSION? WE SHOULD BE UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING TO ONE ANOTHER! I AM A PERSON WHO WAS 300LBS AND I WAS HARASSED AND JUDGED SO MUCH WHEN I WAS THAT WEIGHT! BEING UNKIND AND INSENSITIVE DIDN'T ENCOURAGE ME TO CHANGE IT JUST MADE ME FEEL WORSE! I WAS EVEN TREATED THAT WAY BY CHURCH PEOPLE! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT!

    WHEN PEOPLE STARTED SAYING POSITIVE THINGS TO ME ABOUT HOW THEY NOTICED WHEN I LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT OR OTHER POSITIVE UPLIFTING THINGS THEN I CHANGED MY WHOLE OUTLOOK!

    PEOPLE CAN BE VERY VERY CRUEL! WE SHOULDN'T ALLOW PEOPLE WHO ARE NEGATIVE PULL US DOWN BUT INSTEAD WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE THEM WITH KINDNESS. NEGATIVITY IS TOO STRONG TODAY.

    I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!

    TINA MISSSKINNY6
    4282 days ago
  • KNICKI1
    You are right.

    Can't we all just get alons?
    4282 days ago
  • GIRLINMOTION
    Glad that you said it. I have found if you keep things positive and always try to look at the bright side, it does bring good things to you (I think I am a good example, because I know my life is good). I always wonder why bad things always seem to happen to the same people? Is it because they send out so much negative energy???

    I just had to say it!!!

    Hugs, Sonia
    4285 days ago
  • NO-41_RAZZYS_PL
    Wow, Tina, you really did hit this 'outta' the park' girl!! I know (we know- meaning us) exactly what you mean and maybe that is something that needs attention 'here' at SP. I see RAMONAZF (miss you) mentioned Coach Dean having to be the 'heavy' and I hope he is. I've been snooping around the teams- picking some of them up- examining them- getting rid of some quicker than you can say SNAP, CRACKLE, POP, too!! There's ALWAYS going to be 'rotten apples' in an apple cart, and if they aren't picked out... they SPOIL the whole harvest.

    There's people 'out there' that can't open their mouths without hurting someone's feelings or accusing someone of SOMETHING/ANYTHING negative... some people just can't stand peace and harmony, laughter and innocence, forgiveness and compassion...

    but THANK GOD that there's people that SEE it, CARE, and SPEAK up to it, Tina!! You are a light in a dark place. Even SP has teams that are... well... not 'teams' at all... but there ARE people like you, like Lynn, and Ramona, and the two other fine ladies that I have not had the pleasure to meet. There is BEAUTY despite the ugliness, and the uglier it gets, the MORE beautiful "God with skin on" as Ramona taught me.

    I know I would NOT be the 'seeker' and the 'changer' of paths as I journey towards enlightenment if it were not for my teachers. I hope to reach out a hand to those drowning in that negative... but I do not believe and will not allow it to 'fester' into STENCH and ROT whatever it touches!! I will STAND up to it too, Tina!!
    LOVE,
    Annie emoticon
    4286 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/4/2009 8:05:49 PM
  • OMELYN
    Again, Amen!
    Negativity just seems to seep out of some people. They do not look for goodness, or try understanding or walking in others shoes. It is always justice, their brand of justice.

    Some women I know from my kids' school were waiting with me at an event last night. Talk turned to the economy (we live in the Detroit area) and how things were going to get worse instead of better. One of the women was so insightful, she said "may be people will learn to do for themselves, and for each other. May be we will all become kinder and more understanding." That is a possibility as folk who haven't "wanted" and looked down on those who do, will get an "attitude adjustment."

    Don't like to see anybody go through it, but may be something positive can come from it.
    Lynn
    4286 days ago
  • MUSKIEPW
    I agree, so many ppl spread hate every chance they get. I'm sorry to admit that I think good manners have gone the way of common sense. I was at the car wash the other day and went to pull in to vacuum my car. I hear a horn honk as I pull in and look around, a truck is pulling in to the next stall beside me. The guy gets out and yells at me that he was waiting for the space I took. It wasn't even so much that he yelled, but the look on his face!! He really looked like he wanted to hit me, over a space at the car wash, and his children were in the truck!!!! I don't get it???
    4286 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    AMEN!!!! Again I say. AMEN!!!! Tina, I am so in agreement with this! I was recently invited to join a Spark team where the idea is that no opinion, however it is expressed, should be 'off limits'. Well you can guess what that is like... not a lot different from the threads you just described (Coach Dean is being called upon to delete threads left and right). people who take the position you have taken here are deemed 'too sensitive'. I, too, have looked at the comments following news articles I felt prompted to read (stuff a lot more controversial than the ones you mentioned) and the commentary offered under the auspices of 'free speech' is nauseatingly destructive to dignity, compassion, encouragement, respect, and open dialogue. It actually accomplishes the exact opposite, in my opinion, and I find that frightening. I agree that, "free speech should be coupled with accountability. If you want to say something about someone, fine, but you should be held accountable for it, you shouldn't be allowed to say whatever you want without having to put your name to it." I also think it does have something to do with this journey we are on, because the sort of negativity you are describing is symptomatic of personal discontent and powerlessness (inappropriately expressed) which is related to the weight loss process... and I've seen it crop up all over Spark people. And those participating in this sort of negativity are those who continue to struggle. Thanks for the blog!

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}
    4286 days ago
  • SUZY6281
    Amen.

    It always seems that the worst comments come from those that hide behind a pseudonym. In essence, it shows them for what they truly are. Inconsequential.

    suzy
    4286 days ago
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