Tough Day Yesterday
Saturday, January 10, 2009
There is one really big issue I have to overcome, and I need to do it soon, because it alone stands in the way of true progress on my journey. I get out of work early on Fridays, and usually run some errands and have some time to myself before I pick up DS from school. When I do pick him up, because it is the only day that he gets out of school and gets to just come home, that's generally what he wants to do. And when he gets here, I must admit he really doesn't want to do anything other than play with his toys and watch a little TV. It's very hard to deny him this given our busy and out of the house schedule the rest of the week. Plus, it doesn't stink to have some time at home to myself, even though he's here.
But here's the problem. It's Friday, the end of the week. I am pretty spent by the time we walk in the door, so it is incredibly hard to find the ambition to do anything really constructive in that period...laundry, house clean, all that stuff that has to be done but which, on Friday afternoon, just doesn't happen. So, I usually end up puttering a bit... I don't know if it's habit or boredom, but along with this puttering comes that grazing that becomes more than just having a little snack, it becomes an all out I can't satisfy myself binge. I must admit, I have been doing so darn well lately that when it happened to me yesterday, it took me totally by surprise...but by the time I was able to get a handle on it, the damage was done and I way overdid it.
I suppose the good news is that I then forced myself to sit down and journal EVERY morsel I put in my mouth...and as I charted each of those extra 1,500 calories, I thought about how I had dragged myself out of bed early every single morning this week to do my cardio... and how I had undid an awfully good week's worth of work with one 2 hour period...
I had a lousy night's sleep, being pretty mad at myself and feeling pretty yucky with all the yuck I had put in me. But here I am this morning, feeling like, okay, it snuck up on you, it won't again.
So here is to learning from the mistake of forgetting how easy it is to fall back to those bad habits. There is not one single thing that I ate yesterday that I would have beat up on myself about had it been in moderation, but it was binge mode, not moderation mode... Today is another day, and I am scheduled for a nice, long gym session of cardio and strength training... I can't wait to get there!!