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Wow, what a difference 2 months can make. It's been a covid whirlwind for the whole world. Worked from home for a few weeks, hard going back to spending 10hrs/wk on the road commuting. Turns out I was more active (per my fitbit) while working from home, but I think I ate way more because there was always a fully stocked kitchen vs. the small selection I keep stashed at the office. It all balanced out I think, and no serious weight gain during the stay at home order.

I happened to return to SparkPeople just in time to jump in with a team for the upcoming Sparktastic Summer Slimdown Challenge. Here's hoping I can find a spark...haven't had one in a long time...

Time for an edit and update. Not long after my last post things went a little sideways. Hurt my back, lost partial feeling in my right leg and foot (still not at 100% today). Decided to homeschool my now teen. Work dynamics changed. PMDD. Gained a significant amount of weight. Now at my highest weight ever, in the 280s. No longer feeling period of my body or myself most days. Need to significantly changed my eating and habits. Haven't worked out in forever, even walking. And, I hurt my back again a couple weeks ago. It feels so hard to change. To actually see and notice a difference. It feels unfair that I have to choose to deny myself foods I like. I KNOW I did it before when pregnant, but now I feel totally out of control.

(2018) Proud of My Body - Surfing the New Mom High
I am 35 and married to my high school sweetheart with a 12yr old son (he's my Valentine's Day baby!) and a NEW little boy who turned 1 in April. After giving me ANOTHER wonderful kiddo and currently keeping that kiddo fed, it's hard to be negative with my body right now (I wish I could bottle this feeling for later when/if negative body image thoughts creep back in). I work full time with an hour commute 1 way. I'm an emotional eater with recurring depression issues. Times get tough, and I kind of shut down. I've lost weight in the past and gained it all back. I need to develop good routines/habits and ways to handle stress. I need to build a good foundation that I can build on, that won't crumble when life gets a little shaky. And after having the new baby I'm in serious need of some core rehab before I do myself damage.

As of Jan 2016, I was at my highest weight. Ever. I watched the scale climb and my clothes kept getting tighter, and I still didn't change my ways. I was scared and knew I needed to change...but didn't.

And then...as I turned 34 in Oct 2016, I found myself expecting child #2 due in April 2017. I put on 40lbs with my first, and the Dr. gave me a goal of 15lbs total gain this time around. I gained about 15lbs, and then was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and was put on a diet. I managed to control my blood sugar with diet for the rest of my pregnancy and actually went in to deliver at my pre-pregnancy weight...so I was actually 25lbs under pre-pregnancy 2wks post partum. The GB diet went out the window however as my baby spent 4wks in the nicu and I stress ate ALL the sweets. Now he's home and I'm breastfeeding and still have quite an appetite, and quite the sweet tooth. I do know that given the right motivation (such as harming my unborn kiddo) I can plan food and eat healthy...but day to day without that motivation...still working on it.

Member Since: 5/25/2004

Fitness Minutes: 89,975

My Goals:
I really want to improve my overall fitness. I'm just out of shape all around. I want to tone up and feel strong and be flexible.

I want to be happy with myself and how I look and feel, no matter what I weigh, and I want to be a good example for my sons as they get older. To be proud of myself and teach them good habits, I need to develop those good habits for myself 1st.

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