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My water punk....

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My hero, Lori! All this 9 days after last chemo treatment.

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Lookin' fine at 39!!!

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A little about myself. I'm a mom to an amazing 7 year old boy. Nate is my everything. He shows me what it is to be a winner each and every day I see his sweet face and loving heart. He was conceived after many years of trying and several miscarriages. He was born 2 1/2 months premature. He's my rock.

Now to talk about me. This is never easy to sit and say your weaknesses, don't likes, and your plans for change. What I can say about myself is I want to find me again. I want to know where I went, what happened to me, why I went on the path I was on, and why I made the choices I did. I guess when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter why it happened, but I certainly need to find the compassion for myself again.

Recently I've been lead into a different direction. I'm not talking about diet, food plan, elimination, lifestyle, whatever you want to call it. I'm talking about the emotional, psychological, spiritual, and addiction side of it. This is the journey I feel I need to take.

See, I'm an addict. Doesn't matter which food I'm addicted to. I'm powerless to the food. I'm a sneak, and a cheat. This is what I must conquer or I will never reach my goals for myself. I learned that when I consume the food I'm addicted to it leads to a physical need for more. This scares the hay out of me!!

In the past I learned I always failed to plan, which is planning to fail. So, I'm taking it back to old school style. Like Nate, I have a behavior chore chart. Nightly I record my food consumed, check off my exercise that was planned for that day. I also have a weekly chore of sorting thru some packed away box, closet, drawer, etc. Lots of tossing & donating!!

One thing I did say good-bye to was the scale. The scale's numbers dictated my mood, feelings, and eating for the day. So with one last visit, I gave it to Dave with instructions to pack it in its box, store it flat, and put nothing on top of it. Once a month he is to have it out for me, and then return it to its secure location until the following month.

With the removal of the scale, I'm taking the emphasis off the numbers by placing it on the appearance of me. Do I look how I want to look? Am I confident in my appearance? Would I be confident with my appearance on a beach, a nude beach, or even in a bathing suit in front of that cute celebrity that would make you say "wow, if he'd just look at me, notice me, even just for a second."

I also know there's something missing from my life, and I believe that by reaffirming my relationship with God I'll find my way again, and reach my goals.

I wish I had all of the answers to share, but I don't. I do know that I stockpiled an arsenal of support. I also have one sponsor that will personally guide me thru the difficult times.

To all of you I wish you the best success on your personal journey.

Member Since: 5/3/2006

Fitness Minutes: 5,587

My Goals:
I want to achieve my weight loss goal by June 12.

My Program:
6 Week Body Makeover with additional support from food addicts anonymous.

Personal Information:

Other Information:
"Weak is he who allows his emotions to control his actions. Strong is he who allows his actions to control his emotions." Og Mandino

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing." Abraham Lincoln

"In the strangest way it feels like I have abandoned my old self. I think that''s why it''s so important for me to look back at my old photos with compassion instead of comdemnation." Annette, SP Member

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  • v MRSMILLER777
    Come One, Come All.... invite your Sparkfriends!

    9/10/11 at 12 noon --- if it's nice out we can use the pool, if it's too cool, we can use the Wii Fit or find something else to do I'm sure! Healthy food choices are a MUST! If we each bring something small, we'll have plenty to pick at!

    Be sure to RSVP on the "Did Someone Say Pool Party" Blog entry

    Sparkmail me for address!
    3356 days ago
    * ~(\./).ƸӜƷ
    -,.*( . .) .•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
    .'*,0('')('')(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`• ƸӜƷ
    \¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯/..(\, /)~~..°ღ
    .¯\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯/¯...(. . )((HUG)) ```SMYLEERED

    Happy Easter!
    3468 days ago
  • v MRSMILLER777
    Less than a week to go!!!

    Be sure to RSVP using the link below and SparkMail me for address!!!

    3469 days ago
  • v MRSMILLER777
    *´¨¨)) -:¦:-
    ¸.♥ .·☆´¨¨)).·*¨)
    ((¸¸.♥´ ..·´ ☆**☆.¸¸.♥´

    "Beautiful Woman Award! Once you've been given this award, you have to paste it on the wall of 8 women who deserve it. If you receive more than 3, you know you're really beautiful! If you break the chain, nothing will happen, but it's always good to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out"

    ((¸¸.♥´ ..·´ ☆**☆.¸¸.♥´
    ¸.♥ .·☆´¨¨)).·*¨)
    *´¨¨)) -:¦:-

    Hey, Tuesday at the Chrin Community Center in Palmer, 7pm Zumba walkin is $5 if you wanna come meet me!
    3558 days ago
    Stopped by to say hello how are you? What's going on we haven't seen you for a while? Take care.
    3644 days ago
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