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Introduction Text My name is Jessica, I have been over weight most of my life, and very insecure/shy. I have recently gained about 20 lbs, in less than a year. I want to loose weight, I don't have the mentality of an over weight person, I love to be active, I love nature, I eat very healthy organic foods for the most part. I love to garden, I love hiking, swimming, camping, traveling, fishing...so many things outdoors..problem is, that with my insecurities, I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, I'm very depressed, I feel hopeless, that has not just recently started..these traits have been with me for awhile...they have ruined the best relationship I ever had..a beautiful love between the best of friends..well, he's still my best friend, but we are no longer together, I am now dating the guy I was head over heels for in high school...he broke up with me back then, but now, I feel that he is even more into me than I ever was into him..crazy, how I can be so loved, and attractive to someone else, and in my mind, through my eyes..I am so ugly, so fat, so.....just disgusting. I feel out of place everywhere..I am ready to love life...I want it so badly. i joined a gym a couple months ago, I use to work out allot, and that was when I was at a much lower weight...I have some health problems, I had surgery to remove tumors from both of my ovaries last August, then my fiance and I split up not long after that, lost my home, went to live in an un healthy environment, went from place to place, dealing with the insecurity of loosing him.. I have since got my own place again, my boyfriend and I want to get married, I would love to have children..when the time is right, I have had a miscarriage before..it broke my heart. Anyhow, so I'm in the gym now, so are my best friend and my fiance. I have been doing great, accept for the days that I don't go, I get really discouraged if I just miss one day, it is enough to get me feeling hopeless, so i try to go as often as I can, I usually spend anywhere from 1 and 1/2 hours-2 and 1/2 hours in the gym, I do allot of weights, and the elliptical.. that was something to work up to, I no longer use a tread mill, don't think i ever will, ellipticals are awesome! When i first started, I couldn't even stay on for 5 min. Now, I have worked up to 30 minutes. I work on a high intensity setting for weight loss. I do all kinds of weights, I work every part of my body before I leave there, the personal trainer, he keeps telling me that I'm doing great, that he can tell that I'm loosing fat. he said he can tell allot of difference..that is very motivating!' I'm not sure anyone will read all of this, so I'm not going to waste any more of my time tonight.. I am an artist as well...I still need time to work on my online shop.









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