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What's a fatshionista? It's mostly someone with an extreme interest in fashion and style living in a fat person's body where fashion is a near-impossibility.

Today I'm bordering 400 pounds. I was skinny for ten seconds in 1992 after being on a liquid fast for 14 months. Other than that, I've been big all of my life, including my kindergarden health card which marked me as 20% overweight.

After that liquid diet, I kept the weight (170 lbs) off for 4 years. Then through a combination of moving away from my diet support group, moving into a 1/2 bad city neighborhood where it was dangerous to run outside (gunshots), being away from my health club, switching to a job that did not have a healthy cafeteria and entering a relationship that I responded to by eating emotionally, I packed the weight back on, and then some. That was a long sentence, I know. Living it has been even longer.

So now I need some help with motivation, because the pain of being fat isn't enough to stop the behavior. I want to be healthy for my kid, I want to wear the styles I love, but on many days, that has not been enough to embrace new behavior. I also want to get rid of some recent significant health problems and weight loss will help greatly. I can't take much physical action until I get one of the medical problems solved, but I can do better with my eating.

I know enough about myself to know that I need accountability, and I'm hoping SparkPeople is a way to do that.

My head is so disconnected from my physical self (which originally was a survival mechanism) I have allowed myself to get into this huge mess and seemingly insurmountable goal of losing more than 250 pounds. I know it's a day and sometimes a minute at a time, but this is difficult to do alone. I welome the company of others sharing the same endeavor.

Member Since: 9/16/2009

Fitness Minutes: 20

My Goals:
My own health - to stay the %^&* out of hospitals.

To be a real play partner to my 4 year old son.

To not be the fat mom that prejudiced parents don't want their kid with because they assume I will stuff him with HoHos or something.

To wear knee boots for the first time in my life (ham calves)

To wear cool clothes and intimidate skinny bitches

To live longer in cool clothes

To jog and weightlift again

My Program:
Recovering from very recent surgery, so while I am off of my stressful job, I am focused on portion control and not eating emotionally so I have a good base of behavior to build on when I go back. Also more fruits and vegetables, I'll probably follow something more formal later.

Personal Information:
I'm very near Chicago, but would prefer to be anonymous because I think my writing will be more honest that way. I do appreciate those on this website who reveal more, but I'm not comfortable with it.

Other Information:
I'm analytical, have a "dry" sense of humor (sarcasm without so much pain) and like to read magazines and books excessively. Esp. non-fiction, I don't have the patience for novels. Fall and spring are my favorite seasons, so why do I live by Chicago???

Read More About FATSHIONISTA - Profile Information moved here. (Updated September 16)

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    Thanks for commenting on my post. I need all the encouragement I can get
    1459 days ago
    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I am trying to do just that, tell everyone to mind their own business, because I am perfectly capable. All the best on your journey!
    2428 days ago
  • v JESSICA2140
    Hey there! Thanks for stopping by my page and leaving a comment...I absolutely LOVE finding out someone else appreciates my oddball sense of humor...
    Some words of encouragement: Keep Sparking! If you follow the plan and REALLY use the website, you'll be shopping yourself silly before you know it!! (I'll see you in the "regulars" section, too!) If you ever need to vent, you know where my page is now...let me know if I can help!
    3131 days ago
    Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I know we can do it. We have a long road to hoe, but baby steps will get us there. emoticon
    3132 days ago
  • v JACKIEB4
    just stopping by to say hi hope your week has been a good one.
    3389 days ago
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